What Kind of “Tired” Are You?

Sleep is not the answer to every kind of tiredness.  We all experience being tired.  We live in a culture that overemphasizes productivity and efficiency, so much so that most people have a hard time knowing how to rest and be still unless they are sleeping!  Are you ever tired in a way that no amount of sleep with alleviate?  Do you get tired of being tired?

I find it is helpful to get in the practice of asking yourself what kind of tiredness or weariness you are experiencing.  It takes time, practice and increased self-awareness to learn to identify kinds of tiredness.  Here are a few:

1.     You can be tired because you are overwhelmed with all that is required of you. In this situation, you are doing your best to get done all that you need to do, but no matter how hard you try there is always more and you cannot “catch up”.   You may be overcommitted.  Perhaps you have taken on more than is realistic for you to handle. You may need to re-evaluate and change what you have said “yes” to.  OR you may need to ask for help!

2.     When you are under pressure of deadlines and/or big decisions, you can experience fatigue.  When we experience this kind of tiredness we often want to escape for awhile and be idle…but then the feeling of exhaustion comes right back.  Often what helps this kind of tiredness is to identify the places of stress and demand.  Once you’ve named them, it is helpful to identify which you have choice about and what is outside of your control.  Make any changes that you can in order to better care for yourself or ask for help. Find ways to make peace and find acceptance in the areas that are truly outside of your control.

3.     There are feelings that can present themselves as tiredness!  It is commonly known that depression is frequently accompanied by tiredness.  But feeling loneliness and regret can also cause you to feel tired and weary.  You try to get more rest, but without dealing with the root issue, the weariness persists.  Unresolved conflict, anger, and grief also can be masked by physical fatigue.

In order to know what kind of rest will restore your energy, you need to first identify what kind of fatigue you are experiencing.  If you feel tired, worn-out, weary or  exhausted …. And you don’t feel relief after a good night’s sleep (or two!) … you may not be physically tired! 

It is likely time for an honest assessment!  Set aside some time to reflect on how you are feeling and what all is going on in your life.  Try to identify the areas of your life that are leaving you feeling depleted.  Take an honest look at those places of demand or the feelings that you uncover and determine if there are changes that you can make to better care for yourself. If there are, make them! 

I find that people’s first consideration when feeling tired and examining their life commitments, is to look for things they can stop doing.  But often this doesn’t have the desired result.  Here’s an example: In an effort to be less depleted, a person evaluated the commitments they’ve made that require time and energy.  They stop going to a meeting that could be considered optional, they say “no” to getting together with friends because they are too busy and wiped out.  They spend their evenings “vegging out” in an effort to slow the frantic pace they’ve been keeping.  They reason that they just “need a break”.  But often this kind of break doesn’t work. The tiredness persists and often increases.

Instead of looking for what to cut out, perhaps the better choice is to consider what to add! Sometimes adding activities that replenish you is the perfect answer to being overwhelmed or wiped out.  We can be so hesitant to add to our life or schedule when we already feel tired or maxed out. The challenge is knowing yourself well enough, and making it a priority, to identify ways to pursue rest and rejuvenation that is not just physical.

We could all use a little more practice at finding ways to rest other than sleeping.  What is restful for one person can be exhausting to someone else.  Restful activities are as varied as people’s personalities.

What activities are restful to you?  What makes you feel rejuvenated and alive?  Sometimes it can be as simple as going for a walk, finding a way to express creativity or play.  It doesn’t need to take a long time.  It can be something you do alone, or with others.  Whatever brings you  peace and enjoyment.  The practice of making yourself and your inner peace a priority is a powerful way to care for yourself.  Just taking action in a small way will often yield a noticeable increase in energy and happiness.

Sometimes a nap is necessary, certainly getting a good amount of sleep each night is critical, but if you consistently tired … sleep may not be the answer.  With thoughtful reflection and listening to your body you will find ways to get the rest you need.  You are worth it!