Sunday Morning Prayer

 

“Are you hungry according to your appetite or mine?” 

I was praying and preparing for our Sunday worship service. My hopes were up, thinking of all that God may do in our time together. We were having a special speaker, and I was filled with anticipation of the wisdom and power that would be released. I had great faith for how God would touch me and each of those who came.

At first, I felt the Holy Spirit stirring up my faith, increasing my expectation. I was declaring the desires of my heart for myself and those in the congregation. Believing that the revelation God would release through the worship and speaker that morning would bring freedom and transformation for each of us, I began to thank Him for the specific impact of this breakthrough. I had faith for words of encouragement, for invitations into freedom from depression, addiction and apathy. I felt that He would bring comfort and reassurance to individuals with long-standing unanswered prayers, and they would have new insight into God’s heart for them. For myself specifically, I was believing for encouragement and discernment in a specific area of life.

Suddenly, amid these prayers of declaration and gratitude

for what God would do, I felt the Holy Spirit asking me: 

“Do you want what you want more than you want Me?”

That question arrested my thinking. I stopped and considered this. There was much that I wanted God to do that morning. I knew these words were not correction, but an invitation. My desire, my hunger was rightly directed at Him. I felt His approval of my faith and yet there was a subtle re-direction as well. I felt Him calling me higher, increasing my expectation. I had been focusing on all that God could do, according to what I wanted. But what does He want?  All my prayers and the desires of my heart were in alignment with God’s heart, His words were not corrective. But I was very aware that there was more, much MORE.  I expressed the truth of my heart and spirit; “I want what I want – but more than that, I want YOU!” I had focused my prayers on how I wanted to see God move. I desperately want wisdom, encouragement, freedom and transformation for myself and those I love. I believe all of this is in God’s heart as well. But I want the fullness of Him, whatever is in His heart, more than individual answers to my prayers. 

What do you have for us? For me? 

With that question, I suddenly saw, in my imagination, a scene played out like in a movie. I was invited to meet someone for tea. I went to the designated place at the time I was to meet them. I went to the table, sat down and greeted them. We exchanged simple pleasant conversation and enjoyed tea together. I thanked them and left. Then my imagination focused on the person at the table. They lifted a bag from beneath the table that had been sitting near their chair. I realized I had left too soon. I had not received all that they had for me. I left before they had a chance to give it to me. I was rushed.

It was then that I heard, in my spirit;

“Are you hungry according to your appetite or mine?”.

I have learned in these moments to stay quiet and listen. I waited and felt wisdom telling me, that if I am hungry according to my own appetite, then I will leave when I am full. But if I am expectant according to His appetite, I will linger in His presence expecting more. I may not know what He has for me, but I can be confident that it is good!  God wants to fill us according to His desire, His appetite and heart. It is most assuredly more than what we are thinking.

I was reminded of what the scripture says about Joshua and Moses in Exodus 33:9-11. Moses would enter the tent, and a cloud of God’s presence would descend on the entrance to the tent. Moses would meet with God and then leave. Scripture says that Joshua would linger there at the entrance to the tent after Moses had departed.

I want to be one found lingering in God’s presence. If I leave when my expectations have been met, then I’ve been filled according to my expectations, my appetite. But I would rather be fed according to His appetite!

When Paul prays for the church in Ephesians 3:14-21, he acknowledges that God “is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think”. He is praying that the Ephesian Christians would be fed according to God’s appetite, because it is greater than what they themselves would ask for.

Receiving this word from God, last Sunday morning, has given me a new posture in prayer. When I am hungry to receive from God, I am intentionally surrendering my requests and then refocusing on God. I am acknowledging my desire, my requests and surrendering them to God, believing that He hears them. But I am presenting my hunger for Him above all. I want what I cannot know to ask for! I want His best for me, for my church, and for those I love. I want His fullness. I want the “abundantly beyond what I could ask or think”. I want to linger and be sure to receive everything He has in His heart to give. I am not going to rush and leave after my expectations are met. I will linger and receive fullness.