The Costly Choice of Regret

 Regret is about the past and it chains us to it.  Regret will steal your future, your hope.  God told me, “You cannot hold both regret and hope, because hope is movement towards a better future and you can’t pull regret with you”  Regret is choosing the past and denying any power of God to move in the future.

Regret is a selfish act. And it is costly! 

Regret is a table for one.  It is a lonely road.  Regret refuses perspective and input from others.  Regret is about control.  Regret says, “I did this!  I made a mistake and now I am paying for it!”  Regret leaves no room for another perspective.  When you are walking in regret, you will not allow someone to make excuses for you.  A well-meaning friend tries to encourage you as you process your regret.  But you cannot hold their words while at the same time holding the weight of your regret.  Because you are fully convinced of your failing,  you end up refusing their perspective and rehearsing the facts of how thoroughly messed up you have made the situation.  It is hopeless and you are helpless in it.  You cannot be helped.  Because you are convinced that the fault is fully your own, you have no way to receive help.  To listen, entertain, dare believe their words of encouragement would be give yourself an excuse, the easy way out, a free ride.  NO, you are convinced that you must PAY! 

See the selfishness of regret?!  It has a way of pulling you further into introspection, isolation and a self-inflicted prison.  Regret brings anger and resentment along for the ride.  You become angry at those who try to help or rescue you.  You feel you are undeserving of rescue because your mistakes are so big in your eyes.  It is a hungry master because any time you begin to feel sorry for yourself or defensive of yourself, you are compelled to rehearse the severity of your screw-up, the hopelessness of your recovery.  This is your punishment, the way you “pay” for your own failing.  And you will never pay enough!

The truth is, regret is hopeless.  As long as a person is choosing regret, they cannot choose hope.  There is no room for hope in regret, because hope speaks of the future and regret is determinedly focused on the past only.  Regret is a master and it is greedy.  Hold regret in one area of your life long enough and it will begin to taint and eat away your confidence, joy and hope in other areas.

Regret must be put down, a determined and intentional release and choice to do something different.

A person who is choosing regret has elevated their evaluation of themselves above anyone else’s evaluation or judgement.  In that regard, regret makes the person their own God.  And until they lay that down, they will not be able to receive help from God.

Light is a beautiful thing!   One candle burning in a huge dark room cannot be missed.  Any amount of light, no matter how small, will dispel the darkness.

Truth is like that.  One small truth will eradicate the darkness and make way for more light.

The very second a person considers; “perhaps there is hope…even..for..me…” That is the first candle being lit.  One small flame, in the midst of darkness!  And others can follow, increasing the light:

-        “Maybe not all of this is my fault….  If I am not alone in the blame, perhaps I am not alone in the solution”

-        “If there is a God, maybe He can help even a situation as bad as this!”

-        “Surely, I am not powerful enough to create all this devastation!”

Just a few flames of light like these begin to light the path to hope.  And hope, hope is a greedy master too!  Hope is contagious and spreads like wildfire!

-        “If there is hope for this circumstance, then perhaps there is hope for this other thing too!”

-        “Maybe things will work out ok for me after all.”

-        “What if all of this tuns out better than I thought?!”

Herein lies the fundamental difference between regret and hope.  Regret looks resolutely at the past and renders a person powerless to outside help.  Hope is anticipating, looking to the future and expecting help and resources to show up unexpectedly.

Consider any area of regret inside of you.  Ask yourself how powerful you really think you are.  Are you powerful enough to mess up so badly that there is no way out? No light, no hope?  Ask yourself who is holding you captive?  Are you your own captor?  If you are standing in the prison of regret, you also hold the key!  Use it!