Alone - Not Lonely


Alone –
    There were times when I feared it
    The stillness
    Silence
    The horror of my thoughts being so loud
    No longer hidden by busy actions, reactions, opinions and decrees
    The words of others drowning out my own
Alone I was vulnerable to the harshness of my evaluation
    The truth that always chased me down
    I stayed busy, surrounded, well occupied
    Trying desperately to avoid the feeling:
Lonely –
    Even in crowds, still it hovered over me like a cloud
    Misunderstood, assumed upon, judged
    A dark shroud that weighed heavy upon my shoulders
    I hid within myself even as I gave myself to others
Lonely and Alone
    My need for people was desperate
    An appetite voracious and unsatisfied
    No amount of connection appeased my loneliness
     
Peace has stilled the storm of words; other’s and my own
    I find rest in quiet stillness and no longer fear
Alone
Love has healed by deepest wounds and smoothed my rough edges
    I am kind to myself, allowing myself the luxury of joy
    No longer eaten from the inside by loneliness,
    I rest from the craving of input and opinions of others
I welcome stillness and relish in the quiet sounds of
Living

Alone but not Lonely 

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