Hope Victorious

If I could, I would rescue you I would carry for you the heaviness that burdens you It hurts to see you bent; I fear that you will break My heart longs to be the answer   I know that I cannot save you The help I can offer feels so small I am diminished by my frustration I cannot be your rescue   My desire has fueled a building anger towards God What is possible, He has not chosen to do Your rescue, your healing is well within His hands And yet completely outside of my grasp   If the sheer force of my love for you could apprehend it If determined faith could pay the price Or it was allowed for me to take your place The miracle would be secured and your rescue complete   I will wait; with determined hope, I will watch Again and again, I will ask and pray I stay tender; welcoming comfort to ease my disappointment I protect the new faith that springs up – I will not be afraid   Is it enough to walk beside you? My strength, my love, all the hope in my heart I will offer it to you and I wil

I describe myself as hopeful.   More often than not, I find myself feeling literally full of hope.   It has not always been this way.   In the past I was hopeless more often than hopeful.   I’ve had my battles with deep depression, I’ve entertained the voices telling me to give up and end it all.   Those voices were silenced years ago, but I still remember the trails that got me into that deep darkness.   While it may be easier now than ever to stay away from despair, the truth is that even on my best days there are places in my life where it is a challenge to be full of hope.   There are places where I am tempted to surrender to hopelessness.   Other areas of life I describe more as being weary in hope; like my hope is worn out, old and tired.   In the past I found this disparity disconcerting; feeling hopeful in some area of my life, yet completely lacking hope in other areas.   But recently, for the past year or so I have adopted a new perspective.   The reality is that even in th

I wrote this “poem of decision” during a time of personal anguish. I am determined not to reduce the level of my expectations to the reality of what I and my family are experiencing.  There is a cost to self-protection, it is a cost I am unwilling to pay! I will not fear disappointment My hope will not be sacrificed on the altar of safety and self-protection I am willing to pay the price of sorrow Confident that I will find my way back to hope I have been here before, walked the tightrope of guarded expectations Bore the callouses of hardening myself to hope My valiant attempt to avoid pain So afraid of disappointment, I tethered my hope and dared not dream It robbed my joy, emptied me of peace Isolated me from love and wonder Slowly, I suffocated in air toxic with fear Hollow and void of color - a mere shell of my former self No More!   My hope is worth much more I will not fear disappointment, pain or even fear itself I stay soft, open – my hope unhindered It may hurt – but I will he