Confluence

I
I have grown accustomed to faith
    A word for healing
    A promise tightly held
    A timely declaration that opens doors to freedom
Faced with the impossibility I turn my gaze towards heaven
I listen for strategy –  whispers of truth
Faith as been a strong current moving me forward
A force that leads from the place of need to the pool of refreshment
Where the very need is met – celebrated – enjoyed. 
    Fulfillment of faith
    Healing realized
    Promise fulfilled  
When reality matches the declaration and faith is no longer needed in that place –
    A space now filled with rejoicing
    An answer – a victory
Faith has broken through
 
          II
Sometimes faith is not enough
When the journey of faith has gown long and wearisome
The river, once raging becomes a dry creek bed of rough rocks, fallen timbers,
A deep crevice – the sliver of water carving a path deep in the narrows of my soul
Where has my faith gone?  How is it that I am nearly dry?
    A brain tumor, addiction, infertility, cancer, bone-on-bone pain
    Blindness, depression, disease, chronic pain, the endless effects of trauma
These are boulders
Some are stones – not quite as big, but difficult all the same
    Sadness, sorrow, betrayal, injustice, fear, shame
Imposing boulders solid in my dry riverbed – where faith was once a raging river
I feel their weight upon my heart
Heavy – Immovable
         
        III
Seldom am I without hope
It too is a river
    With a mighty source this river never runs dry
    The deeper I go, the stronger the current I feel
Hope moves me
Hope changes the landscape of my life
The water of hope brings life and growth
    Potential
    Promise
Hope is a rushing river
My constant in the midst of the changing tides of my faith
 
          IV
My faith ebbs and flows – it rises and falls
High on faith – I am bold in my prayers
    Believing for healing – miracles
    Justice – restoration
I listen to hear strategies –  answers
Faith is a current fueling my prayers
These refreshing times
    Pressing for more – feeling strong and sure
    High tide of faith! 
Faith – a mighty river flowing full and strong
 
          V
But faith has its lows
The current retreats
I am exposed. 
My boldness quiets
I am without strategy – without answers
My creativity dries up – my boldness cracks and wearies
I feel stuck in the midst of dry boulders
Lonely  – unmoved
 
          VI
When faith recedes – I draw on hope
Hope – the river from a source far higher than I
My eyes set on this river – I move into its depths
I rest in hope –  it pools around my feet
No need to rush or worry
The current of hope comes to me as I enjoy it
I rest and trust
I wait and savor
Hope grows when I feed it
 
VII
Increasing hope begins to touch the stones
It swirls around the boulders
They look smaller
I cannot move them
    The cancer, the tumor, the blind eye and chronic pain
    I cannot free the addiction, infertility, depression, trauma or sorrow
    I will not save the betrayed, lonely, fearful or abused
But hope
The current of hope will shape them
Bear their weight – soften their sharp edges
Hope gives me power to cover them
 
          VIII
I focus on hope – I wait for faith
I trust the flow of the current
Believing and strength increases in me
Confluence
The merging of two rivers
THIS is where I long to remain
    Uniting hope and faith
This meeting place of two great rivers
Confluence
Hope’s refreshing current
    Alive with possibility – swirling with wonder
    Awash in hope my doubts are carried away
I am unhindered
Faith’s current returns to me the victories and miracles of my past
    Those I’ve witnessed and those I myself have lived
    It will happen again!
I listen to hope – yield myself and dare to believe again
I step into faith – I wade into the depths
God is my healer 
He is justice – redemption and restoration
He is provider –  protector and defender
 
        IX
Confluence
    The force of hope collides with the power of faith
Confluence
The boulders are moved and shaped
Raging currents soften edges – diminishing their imposing size
Boulders become stones – stones become the sand my feet are anchored in
Confluence
Awash in combined power
    My prayers are a force of change – unleashed – unfettered
Nothing  remains immovable