Choosing Peace Over Understanding

It sounds good…but all too often, it is not at all what I am asking for or hoping to receive.  Understanding is often the very thing that I am seeking.

Peace that surpasses all understanding is what is promised. A peace too great to comprehend; that exceeds my ability of my reasoning, the capacity of my intellect.  I am aware that much of the time I short circuit my own pursuit of this peace.  I go to God with my questions, my long list of requests, desires and inquiries.  I bring my fears and anxiety, my weaknesses and lack. I am asking for answers, for strategies and direction. I often want to know what I should do.
 
The truth is this: what I want IS understanding.  I want to understand WHY!  Why what is happening is actually happening and why it is not somethings else, like what I desperately wish were happening! I want to understand HOW to respond. I want to know what to do, how to think, how to feel and I especially want to know WHEN it is going to change!
 
When I stop to take an honest look, understanding is most often what I am asking God for. But here, that understanding is not what is promised.  This peace of God, which is beyond understanding, IS promised. I wonder if I really want it.  Perhaps that is the root of my frequent frustration.  When faced with difficulty, discouragement or adversity of any kind, I often go to God in pursuit of understanding.  I cling to whatever understanding I gain and yet still long for the peace I know is available.
 
I have tasted peace!  I have rested in a deep assurance that has quieted my fears and drowned out my many questions.  Because I have experienced it, I know it is possible and it is difficult to settle for less than that level of peace.
 
It is no wonder then, that when I am pursuing understanding and hoping that this will bring me peace, I often find myself dissatisfied. I am learning, even in my stubborn resistance, that I must surrender my quest for understanding if I am to fully apprehend the peace that is offered.  I must lay down my demand to fully understand, if I am going to pick up the peace that is offered to me.  The promise is that the peace God offers far exceeds understanding anyway!  How quick I have been to settle for a lesser peace. 
 
The promised peace is beyond comprehension.  It is released to me from God.  I do not manufacture or work up this peace on my own.  I receive it as I come to God with surrender, faith and thanksgiving.  I bring my requests and trust that He hears them and that He will carry them Himself.  My part is to release them to Him, along with the anxiety I have had as a result of carrying them.  In return for this surrender, I am able to receive the peace offered to me from God.  And this peace is a guard for my heart and mind.  It protects me from further anxiety, from fear and striving.
 
Understanding is the counterfeit peace. It seems real, but is in fact, a shallow and unworthy substitute.  Any comfort gained by understanding is fleeting.  But peace is lasting and continues to increase as you pursue it.  Carrying peace requires that we trust that God will carry our concerns and requests, that He will tend them and provide for us.  Peace demands that we trust in His understanding and not our own.  Which brings us to the wisdom of Provers 3:5-6.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”
 
As we choose to exchange our anxiety for God’s peace, we trust in His understanding and no longer demand to understand everything ourselves. In that trust, the great reward is peace.