Disappointment & Hope - the Bible Verse I Didn't Like

 

Romans 5:5 says this, “and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” For years I would hear or read that verse and it would be confusing and frustrating. I had been disappointed countless times! Some disappointments are small and easily forgotten with the passing of time, others change the landscape of our lives. I’ve faced both extremes and plenty in between.  While I believed that God loved me and had experienced it often, I wasn’t sure how that could ever balance out the weight of the disappointment I had experienced in my life. The reason I didn’t like the verse is that I disagreed with it! It didn’t feel true and it frustrated, even angered me when I would read it.

For much of my life as a Christian I was not equipped to truly handle being disappointed. I think I would just try to move on and focus on something else. Recently, as I’ve been walking with others as they face disappointments, I’ve been digging deeper to identify what has changed in my heart allowing me to no longer feel disappointed in hope. I have returned to Romans 5 and the verse I once avoided.

The greater context of the verse is beautiful. Paul is explaining the nature and power of our connection to God through faith in Jesus. He demonstrates how our faith in Jesus accomplishes for us what we could never attain without the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Verse 1 of chapter 5 builds on that concept of justification by faith and says that we are now at peace with God. This reality changes the forecast of our lives, as we see in verse 2. Our inheritance in Christ is secured and we have the promise of eternal life with Him forever. Paul says we “exult in hope of the glory of God”. We are included in the future glory of God. That is an amazing thought, one that anchors our hope in eternity. But as Paul continues his letter, we see that it also impacts our current reality. Paul says that we can exult or glory in our tribulations or adversity. In verses 3 and 4, Paul describes the refining process that adversity brings about in our lives. The message I read here is that when we face adversity, we are able to gain these things: perseverance, proven character and hope. It is here that we read verse 5: “and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

But what about when hope does disappoint?! 

I’ve been disappointed in hope numerous times!

The key, for me, to understanding this verse was to distinguish the process of hoping from the thing I am hoping for. Most often, when we speak of hope, we are hoping for a specific outcome. I’ve hoped for seemingly little things like good weather on a day I have outdoor plans, or for a good surprise in the mail. I’ve hoped for big things too; for the physical healing of my son, for restoration of a broken relationship, for safe travel, and for growth and redemption in places of loss.

When we speak of being disappointed it is often the outcome that we are focusing on. We are disappointed that our prayers weren’t answered when or how we had hoped. Perhaps the person wasn’t healed, we didn’t get the job we were hoping for, or the resolution we needed.

It is as if the “thing” we are hoping for is the target. It either happens or it doesn’t. If we get the desired outcome, the thing we were hoping for, we are encouraged. Our hope was rewarded. But if it doesn’t, we are disappointed. We may not say it, but it is as if our hope missed the target. It feels that hope has disappointed us.

As I looked closer at Romans 5 I see that Paul is not talking about being disappointed in an outcome. We may be disappointed by an outcome, by adversity in our lives, but the process of hoping in God gives us a reward that is guaranteed. The process of putting our hope in God changes us. That process cannot be a disappointment because the ending is already secure in the person and love of God.

Our hope is not in the thing we are hoping for.  Our hope is in God. We hope in God because of who He is, and what we believe He is capable and willing to do. Our hope is anchored in the character and nature of God. Our hope is what moves us towards Him and establishes our relationship with Him. When Paul says hope doesn’t disappoint, he is not speaking of prayer requests.  He is speaking of God Himself. Our hope cannot be disappointed because God has already given us Himself. Verse 5 of Romans chapter 5 goes on to say: “because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I am reminded of another verse about hope, Proverbs 13:12.  It says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”  I used to agree wholeheartedly with this verse!  For years I read it with the wrong interpretation. I used to feel justified by this verse in my disappointment.  I felt this: “No wonder I am weary and discouraged, all that I have hoped for has been deferred”. But that isn’t what the Proverb says at all!  It says that when hope is deferred. Again, it is not the thing that we are hoping for that is the focus! Deferring or putting off hope is what makes the heart sick.

I like the target and arrow picture. I used to think of the thing that I was hoping for as the target. But it is more accurate I think to think of hope as the movement or the arrow. The target is God and our trust in Him. We trust in who we believe Him to be; His power and love for us, His faithfulness to His promises. We trust that the outcomes we are praying for are within Him and His plan for us.

I have still faced disappointing outcomes. There are plenty of times my prayers are not answered in the ways I wanted. But as I continue to move towards God, I find myself rewarded in Him. I find my hope increasing, even in the midst of disappointment. I look back at things I hoped and prayed for that went unanswered, and in most cases, I see that there was something better coming that I didn’t or couldn’t see at the time. The process of hoping has not disappointed me. I have gained Jesus!

 

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 

Proverbs 13:12

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”