Hope Victorious

  Today I am sharing a poem I wrote 28 years ago, in the summer of 1994.   Early in that year I had ended my relationship with the young man I had been dating for nearly four years and had expected to marry. He was an amazing person and in many ways our relationship was wonderful.   We had dated my last two years of high school and made it through my first year of college and into the second.   He knew the hard, painful secrets of my past – that the boyfriend I had as a freshman in high school had beat me, raped me – that while some of the rumors whispered in the halls of our small high school were untrue, many were true.   He knew I was running away from that past, from the shame of it and forging a new version of myself.   He was one of the only parts of my past that I wanted to carry into the future.   I was trying to forget my past, but found doing so impossible.   It is too long a story to tell, but instead of forgetting my past I ended up facing it, walking through it and into

  How often do you hear “should”?   People like to tell us what we should do.   For that matter, we like to tell ourselves what we should do as well.   The experience of “should” is rather common and familiar to us.   Think of your last 24 hours; how present was the pressure of what you should do? How should you feel? How you should respond?   The word “should” has a feeling of pressure or expectation.   Often the pressure is tinted with the fear of falling short. Sometimes to get the sense of a word, it is helpful to compare it to a different word.   Compare “should” to “could” in your mind in this moment.   How does it feel different when someone tells you what you could do?   When you consider what you could do, how you could feel or how you could respond to a specific situation.   “Could” doesn’t carry the same feeling as “should”.   “Could” speaks of options and permission to choose.   Those feelings are not really present in the statements of “should”. I believe it is of

  My heart aches for these ones I love So in need of healing We cry out for the answer of your touch Healing is in your hands my God Will it be today? In the face of unanswered question - uncertain futures - threats against their lives They persist in calling out Hoping -   Praying   - Waiting Will it be today? Tumors   -   Cancer   -   Chronic Pain Organ failing - Empty womb   -   Eyesight fading Addiction -   Depression -   My list goes on and on They trust and wait We ask with faith Let it be Today! At times my hope is high A light that guides my prayers You are healer, redeemer and friend You see and know Your strength upholds I trust them to you with hope   But then there are times I wonder My faith is dim and thin Why do you delay? My heart breaks at all that is required It is too much to bear – yet they continue to stand Anger taints my prayers Why is it not today? Do you see what they endure? Truly feel their pain? H

  Recently I am challenged by our culture’s focus on productivity.   I am being intentional to align my view of being “productive” with my values for myself and my family.   I used to feel that I had to be busy in order to be productive.   For years I lived under an unseen pressure to be doing “enough”.   Life is certainly full for most of us and we can become accustomed to a frantic pace where we always feel behind.   But so much of what is most important to me cannot be quantified or checked off a to-do list. Consider the definition of productivity:   the state or quality of producing something. The effectiveness of productive effort, especially in industry, as measured in terms of the rate of output per unit of input. Surely there are areas of output in each of our lives.   But there are also vast amounts of time and energy put into various outputs that are immeasurable. Producing peace and joy in my home is important to me as a wife and mom.   I am raising happy, confident, s

  Hope A glimmer of light ahead in the darkness I walk towards it Steady and sure – the light calls me forward Through the fog of mystery I may not see the path laid out before me But I find each step as I fix my gaze on the hope ahead All my questions are not answered Uncertainties swirl at my feet And doubts reach to entangle me Hope is there It is faint, but sure; unwavering The light that calls me through this dark fog I am faith walking boldly toward this light I see in the midst of darkness I will not wait for all the questions to be answered For the path to be ordered and well lit I am faith moving forward into hope In the swirling questions, in the doubts that reach out I find my next step in you and as I move I find the security of you being at my side. I am in darkness but I am not alone You are the light of hope ahead of me You are the strength inside of me My companion in the darkness   I am faith moving with you, into the l