Hope Victorious

For me, being understood is one of my greatest desires in friendship.   Equally as strong is my desire to understand the other person.   Understanding requires listening carefully, asking good questions, considering verbal and nonverbal communication. But getting to a point of understanding is not always easy.   I am willing to work, to persevere through misunderstanding, hurt and frustration to get to a place of resolve.   The worst thing for me in friendship is feeling the distance of misunderstanding and unresolved pain. I realize that I am often dependent on understanding in order to experience peace in relationships.   I rely on feeling understood by someone and feeling like I can understand them to feel anchored and secure in our friendship. Agreement is not nearly as strong a need in me.   I am not threatened, nor do I feel that friendship is weakened by disagreement, as long as there is mutual understanding of both points of view. The greatest challenge is when coming to a

     My love for you is fierce and unyielding; nothing tames it’s strength You are a wonder to me – I am so grateful for the gift of you in my life Loving you has changed me, formed me into who I am and yet we are still growing and discovering life together Your years of dependence on me were a treasured gift and yet a great challenge I poured myself into you and still there is so much I have to give you Your growing independence stretches me and thrills me at the same time There is much you can and will do for yourself My greatest hope is that you continue to find strength, love, acceptance and wisdom flowing from me to you No matter how big and strong you are, and will become The love and hope I have for you will be greater still I wish you adventure Experiences that teach you and fill you with awe and wonder Adventure that grows you more fully into who you are destined to be I wish you companionship and friendship You are a leader and will always find it easy to have friends, but I

  Respair is an old and seldom used word, coined from two Latin roots meaning “again” and “hope.”   As a noun,  respair  means “the return of hope after a period of despair.” As a verb,  respair  means “to have hope again.”   What a beautiful word! We all experience times where our hope becomes weary or slight.   We may have seasons of hopelessness and despair.   Respair is the opposite of despair. Respair is fresh hope; a recovery from despair.   I believe that hope is a choice, not just a feeling.   I find that in times of life when I feel hopeless, I can turn towards hope.   It is not striving, trying to work up a feeling of optimism.   Rather, it is a determined choice to turn towards something greater that brings me hope.   It is a choice of focus and pursuit. I may have hope in my ability or in someone else’s.   Instead of continuing to rehearse all the ways things are going wrong or not working out, I choose to switch my focus to what I know I can change, or who I can ask

Friendship can be painful!    When a close friendship has been severed and seems irreparable, I have been tempted to become angry and defensive.    The truth is that the pain of the loss, is evidence of love.    In response to the pain of loss and betrayal, it can seem good to build a wall of protection and safety.    This wall will insulate me from further hurt and loss.    This is what I have told myself, because I didn’t want to be hurt again.    The wall provides a sense of security and identity.    On my side of the wall, I could feel secure in my part of whatever happened.    I could reassure myself of being “right” and place blame on the other side of the wall, far from me.    On my side of the wall I could establish myself, my story and my expectations.    I found security in being the decision-maker. I have built a lot of walls in response to pain in my life.   However, the security and protection I have found within those walls has been short-lived and costly.   Walls isolate