Hope Victorious

  I used to try to hide the parts of me I felt were unlovable. I knew love wasn’t something to earn; not a reward to be granted. But still I believed that my chances at being loved and accepted were both helped and hindered by various aspects of who I am. We all have strengths alongside our weaknesses and it is natural to want to show our strengths while minimizing our weaknesses. There are things we are proud of and others we are ashamed of. I viewed the parts of me that I was ashamed of as liabilities. They were the heavy encumbrances that I dragged along behind me and hoped others did not see or notice. To be loved, I thought I need to hide or at least minimize these things. To let them be seen increased my chances of being disqualified or dismissed immediately. Who would want me, with all this baggage included? I was convinced that the good and admirable things in me were overshadowed and overwhelmed by the liabilities. I viewed love as a scale, a balance. The good of me on one

  Peace stood quietly Called to me by name An invitation Just outside the border of my chaos Mind in over-drive My effort to solve, understand and achieve           It was not an evaluation           There was no accusation           His arms were out           Palms up           An invitation Peace called to me And I could answer and go Or I could stay           Peace would not enter my swirling chaos           There was no place for him to stand           To be with Peace, I had to leave           Step out of my mess of striving           To choose Peace stood quietly And called to me by name Invitation Peace invited me to stand At the border of my mind           Stepping Over           Passion - Effort - Striving - Pursuing           Swirling and Building           Worry – Desire – Performance – Regret           Increasing and Entangling           Stepping Out And as I stood with Peace Hand in hand I felt the power of this invitation           Rest – Assurance  -  Trust –           

  If I could fly – I would I would dart quickly from tree to tree I might land and sit But then I’d fly again Nearly forgetting the feet tucked up beneath me I would see the tops of trees And hide within the highest branches I would learn where to wait in the wind and rain Feel the sun’s warmth on my wings and the first drops of rain I would spread my wings and fly   If I could fly – I would I’d fly with the wind Then I’d fly against it Testing the strength of my wings I’d skim the water of a lake Dart through the mist of waterfalls I would fly through the damp colors of the rainbows Bathing myself in colors Rejoicing in the return of sunshine   If I could fly – I would I would soar high on the currents The air lifting me, carrying me I would rest; my wings outstretched And ride the momentum of wind and heights I would look down on tree tops Fly through the depths of clouds, just to see them from above I would savor the feeling of strength, wearing myself out The thrill of diving Th

  When I felt sure that darkness would win for good Hope rescued me                From fear and pain                From hate and shame Hope called to me Through all the questions and the doubts Louder than the lies that shouted and tore me down Deeper than the rules, both those broken & kept Hope called me home Hope reminded me who I am Hope set me free To love and be loved To dream and believe Hope held my heart, healed my sorrow and set me free to live   That first time, again today and a thousand times between; Hope has rescued me from disappointment, pain and questions Hope has been my answer in grief, fear and strife Hope has called me home To God’s goodness and deep love   Hope has rescued me     Lisa Smith April 16, 2014

  Faith pulls the unseen closer. Faith wants more. Apathy is settling for what you have. Apathy is contentment. Faith is risk. Faith is a hunger that drives you farther and deeper. Faith believes that there is more to be experienced. Apathy tells you to be happy with what you have and either that there is no more, or, that it is too hard to access more. Apathy is an enemy of faith. I am convinced that it is healthy to be aware and take action in the places where we are tempted to feel apathetic. If we truly believe what the scripture says: ·                       that all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27, 14:26) ·                       that all things are possible for those who believe (Mark 9:23) ·                        that God is limitless (1Kings 8:27, Psalm 147:5, Ephesians 3:20) Then we should be cautious of apathy, as it will erode and diminish our faith. These are the questions I am asking myself: Where am I at risk of being apathetic?   In what areas of