Hope Victorious

Hurt can be like a hit-and-run accident.  Sometimes the person who has hurt us never asks for forgiveness.   Sometimes they don’t even acknowledge the hurt they’ve caused. At times it is unintentional, a true accident.  But other times it is not an accident at all, but rather a purposed act of violence. Regardless of the presence of motive, sometimes we are left alone -             beaten and bleeding and the one who caused the pain is long gone.  No relationship. No future. No process or apology.  There is no hope of restoration.           Now sometimes that is just fine with us. I surely had no desire to continue a relationship with the guy who raped me!           But what about the situation where you are hurt, and the relationship is severed, but it was a good relationship and you desperately desire that it be restored?!   THAT kind of hit-and-run is a hard thing to forgive. The painful thing ended a good relationship and now the person is gone, no longer a factor. But here we are,

My grandparents had a farm. My grandpa raised pigs and was a butcher. By the time of my childhood memories, he didn’t have the pig business anymore, but they still had several animals. They always had chickens, mostly for the eggs, but they also raised some so that there was plenty of chicken in the freezer. We ate more rabbit than chicken though, because we all liked it better. My parents raised and butchered rabbits for food as well. In addition to chickens and rabbits, my grandparents usually had a couple of cows, sheep, and a few pigs to raise litters for both food and to sell meat.  They also had a HUGE garden. I loved the garden at their house. It was a little bigger than half a football field. Half the garden was planted with corn every year and the other half vegetables. They had an orchard of fruit trees and a couple of nut and fruit trees around the property. The orchard and garden had to be fenced in with high fencing to keep the deer out. The animals had their pens, pasture

  Sometimes it is lonely to be me No one quite understands Even where there is “together” I can feel alone      Together we parent           But I am alone as mom of my boys      Our marriage is us together           But I am lonely at times as the wife of my dear husband      In friendships, I am together                So much at times I feel overwhelmed by the demand on me as friend And yet I am lonely for someone to pursue me for me   I fight to stay focused outward –      To not retreat, give up, or cry      I answer the questions that are not asked      I try - I keep going, keep giving, keep hoping Rarely am I alone – I am surrounded by people      They are almost always people that I love - And still, I am lonely Lonely for someone to know the depths      Hear the hardest things and just understand      To sit with me in the grief and darkness      To feel the sorrow and loss      Not to rescue, solve, or pity Sometimes I don’t need or even want strategies, answers or possibil

I started college in 1992 and also met the man I would marry that year. It was a time of growth and transformation for me. I was processing a lot of pain and doing the inner work of defining myself outside of the trauma I had experienced in high school. During my first year of college, I began to pursue God and found inner peace and healing to depths I had not previously believed were possible. All the while, my future husband and I were becoming good friends. I journaled a lot in those days and also wrote poems. I used poetry to express my hopes, fears, and dreams. My poems from those days were often directed to God.  One thing I did in my fifth and last year of college was to collect all the poems I could find that I had written and assemble them into a homemade book. I titled it "Colors of My Soul" and made a cover with watercolor prints of leaves. I gave the book as a gift to my fiancé. We began dating during my fourth year of college and married the summer following my g

  Where Romans 8:28 and Philippians 1:6 Intersect Romans 8:28 holds one of the most well-known and often quoted promises in the Bible. We love the encouragement of this verse; the assurance that all things will “work together for our good” . We know that God is the source of the promise and that it is His power and goodness that make it possible. Often we turn to this verse for encouragement and hope when it seems like things are not working out well at all. When we survey the current circumstances and difficulty of our life and find it difficult to see any goodness, resolution or positive outcome, our hope decreases. In these times, some of us turn to a promise like the one in Romans 8:28: “ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” We may look to these words and find comfort and strength. If we believe that God sees us, the adversity we face, and that He can lead us into His plan: then we

I lay down doubt and questions I stand on what I have believed I pick up your promises again And draw my strength from them I lay down worry and fear I stand up tall as one who is loved I put on peace and belonging And remember whose I am I lay down disappointment and sorrow I remember all you’ve healed and restored I stir up the hope inside me And feel it alive and growing           Surrender and Remember           Rest and Belonging           Hope and Wonder           This is faith I chose rest over striving Laying down my self-reliance I lean into what I believe And allow wonder to color the skies of my future          Surrender and remember           Rest and Belonging           Hope and Wonder           This is faith I don’t have to know all the answers Don’t have to figure it all out I am not on my own in the midst of what surrounds me          Surrender and Remember           Rest and Belonging           Hope and Wonder                     Faith is my choice My response to doubt

Too good to be true Dare to believe it Let yourself receive it What if it actually turns out better than you thought? What if the surprises are truly good?   Are you afraid of failing? Afraid of letting someone down? All these years you’ve lived – look at all you’re standing on You’ve succeeded and failed Each time you’ve gotten back up stronger Started again and gone farther   Grown – You have grown in more ways than you know! You’ve faced disappointment, betrayal and fear You’ve fallen down and failed even yourself But you are not crushed or giving up   You have gained ground, not lost it! Look at who you have become All those places where you endured, fought and overcame Courage – you have faced your fears instead of stopping Faith –  you have wrestled with doubts and grown stronger Hope – you have overcome discouragement and pressed on You are becoming!   You are well on your way! You know your weaknesses, the places you are growing – But you also know your strengths and places of

For years my forecast was based on my fears. Like the weather predictions, my forecast called for “rainy days ahead”. My thoughts were along these lines: “What if none of what I’m working towards comes to be? What if none of my dreams come true?” I struggled under the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of missing out. Even the fear of success haunted me. “What if things work out, but then I mess it all up?” “What if I change my mind? What if he/they change their mind? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I screw up?” These were the questions; the fears that shouted at me. I have found it consistently true that you will find what you are looking for. It is a process of reinforcement that builds our beliefs and creates emotional strongholds. The discovery that I could make choices that changed the forecast of my future was revolutionary for me. The discipline of identifying my fears, facing them, and then choosing to rehearse the truth and hope in place of the fea

  Healing is not a seasonal activity! It is part of God’s nature, His identity! Some things have an appointed time. Jesus was always part of God. John 1 tells us that he was present with God at the time of creation. The Holy Spirit was as well. But there was a time appointed for the birth of Jesus and for the release of the Holy Spirit to dwell within believers. The ministry of the Holy Spirit was not bound to the timing of Pentecost, but Pentecost opened a new era of how humanity related to God. Some things within our Christian spirituality have a time or “season”, but not all aspects of our walk with God are “seasonal”. It is an important distinction to make.           God has always been healer. That has not changed and will never change. Just as He is always love, righteousness, and truth. He speaks to His people. These are aspects of God’s character and nature. They are unchanging. Healing is not just an action that God is capable of. It is not merely a possibility. It is who

I wonder what it is like to be a seed All that potential locked up deep inside Waiting quietly –   A secret Multiplied growth – Enormous potential A concentrated time capsule Years of growth – Seasons of Fruitfulness Determination – Destiny   –   Longevity Held captive for now Waiting   –   Longing   –   Safely Stored Away Time –   Water   –   Planting   –   Tending The seed waits! But even before it even looks alive   –   Life is there hidden within   The mighty oak – held within the hard confines of an acorn An apple tree, boughs bent heavy with fruit secreted away in a small smooth seed A towering Redwood drops tiny seeds to the forest floor – unimpressive & hard to find I’ve neven seen the seed that will produce a rose bush: multiple blooms each year Beautiful rounds of colorful petals filling the air with fragrance and yet once it was contained in a tiny speck blowing in the wind   I wonder what it is like to be a seed To know who you

  I’ve been thinking of faith and our response to doubt and fear. We all have questions that we cannot answer and doubts that threaten to erode the confidence of our faith. Fear too is common. Sometimes our fears are big and limit our ability to function, other times fear is quiet and we attempt to cover it with action and bold declarations. What is a faith-filled response to these enemies of faith? Ephesians 6 talks about the armor of God and the fiery arrows of the enemy. Faith is the shield we hold up that, according to Paul, extinguishes all the  flaming arrows of the evil one.   (Ephesians 6:16)   I’ve been pondering how exactly that works. If faith is a shield, it stands between you and the enemy’s attack. The arrows shot by the enemy are intended to hit us! Jesus said in John 10:10 that the enemy comes to rob, kill and destroy . Our enemy, satan, intends to kill or at least injure us! But the second half of that verse is that Jesus came to give life, and life to the fullest

Many are familiar with the amazing promise in Philippians 1:6 where Paul says “ He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. ”   I’ve read this verse countless times, quoted it, taught it, and been encouraged by it every time. But recently I was struck again by the significance of it and especially by the scope of this promise. Paul asserts his faith that God will complete the work that He has begun until the day of Christ Jesus. In the past I have focused on how the promise is about God: it is God who began the work in people and it is God who will complete it. It is truly God’s work! Many translations use the word “perfect”; others use the word “complete”. Either way, it is on God to finish wonderfully all that He has begun. It is the final phrase of this promise that has captivated my attention recently: “Until the day of Christ Jesus”. This is the time frame of the promise, the scope of God’s faithfulness. God will be working out, completing, and

  Grateful To God for life, love, freedom and hope. Grateful for the people I love and those who love me. Grateful for laughter and the light in the eyes of my children when they smile. Grateful for wonder, discovery, learning and growth. Grateful for changes, even for challenges and questions. Grateful for how adversity connects us, stretches us and causes us to grow. Grateful for sunshine, rainbows and flowers. Grateful for wisdom and creative solutions. Grateful for dreams that inspire. Grateful for the work and struggle of pursuing those dreams. Grateful for the times we look around us and see just how much we are surrounded by all we are grateful for. Grateful for the hope that colors the skies of my future. Hopeful Hopeful for healing. Hopeful for the restoration of all that has been lost. Hopeful for the reconciliation of brokenness and mending of people once held closely. Hopeful for the silent hidden dreams of those that I hold dear. Hopeful for the dreams I know and see